Special Times

Well Christmas is officially past us and it was great. Christmas Eve we went to Candlelight Service with Great-Grandpa Earp in Killduff of which Emma was the only child and I'm afraid she may have stolen the attention of most of the congregation....oops;P Then we had our Christmas at NaNa's with our special friends Rod and Cheryl. Emma got a great little car she can ride or push and it was a pretty big hit instantly:) Mommy got a new sweatshirt and Daddy got a Hawkeye shirt. It was a special evening with lots and lots of food. Chocolate covered pretzels, every variety of M&M, pie, smokies, etc....oh dear...
Christmas morning we all 3 rolled out of bed about 7 and went right to the living room for Emma to open her presents! A few toys, a movie, and some socks from mommy and daddy. The best was her little Tap A Tune piano:) She loved it!! Our morning was wonderful, we made cinnamon rolls, and just lounged around as a family enjoying each other. We spent the rest of the day out with NaNa, Uncle Adam, Auntie, and Derek out at the farm. As a family we didn't really give lists to each other, so it was really neat to see what we found for each other, and the thought behind them seemed that much more special.
The day after Christmas was spent at Great Grandpa & Grandma De Cook's. We had a great day with family, Emma was such a trooper all weekend, she was such a good girl as far off schedule as we were for a couple days. The one thing I like to give us credit for is her consistent bedtime. No matter what we are up to, if at all possible she goes down at about the same time. It seems to work really well for us and helps Emma to know when it's time to go down. Naps are still all over the place ranging from a half and hour to an hour, 2 or 3 times a day. It's frustrating in a way, and yet it works out ok because as busy as we are, her nap schedule is flexible. There isn't a certain time we have to be at home for her to nap.
I am excited for New Year's weekend as we are spending the weekend in Carroll for the rest of our Christmas'. It's been so nice the way it has worked out this year for us to be able to spend lots of time at each of our family gatherings; not rushing from here to there. I hate being frazzled and it has made this holiday so incredibly nice!
I will try to get some more Christmas pics put up today, but no guarantees as Emma has been quite a little pistol this morning and I have a lot to do to get ready for this weekend, plus working in the shop also.
We wish you all a blessed New Year full of health, safety, fellowship, and growth!!

Love,
RJ, Tessa, & Emma Rae

Christmas Eve Eve

Wow. It is the eve before Christmas Eve and I couldn't be more excited for Christmas! I am so blessed! I have a wonderful, caring, devoted husband; a beautiful, funny, healthy, (did I mention beautiful) 8 month old baby girl; a warm & cozy home; a loving, supportive family; and a Savior who came to earth as a human baby, who died on the cross for MY sins, rose again three days later, and who walks me through each day in this life. Not every day/hour/moment is perfect or happy but it is real.
As with most of my blog posts, I will talk mainly about Emma, but this one will be different. I was doing some reading yesterday about raising children, and a certain message kept jumping off the page. It was about our children belonging to Jesus. Our babies are given to use to care for, love, and raise up, but they belong to Him. They are His, just as we are. And when I think about that, it has taken a little bit of the anxiety out of me. Knowing that God trusted us, knowing that we would do our best to give Emma the best life possible. Knowing that Jesus watches over her ALL of the time, in the moments when I can't. I feel like the earlier I try to get my mind to wrap around that fact, maybe the better off I will be...
Anywho, after a busy work week, I am ready to spend tomorrow doing some baking, and prep for our Christmas with friends tomorrow evening, and just spending the day with Emma. We are so excited that Daddy gets off early tomorrow and then gets to be home with us through Tuesday!
Hooray for Christmas time and the beaUtiful snow falling outside tonight:)
Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night! (hopefully a night that includes at least 8 hours of sleep for me:)

The Monday blues...

Why do I have the blues this monday morning? Was it because after a wonderful weekend together RJ went back to work, that there are several bills to be paid, or that Emma didn't feel like letting me rock and snuggle her before her nap? Hmmm... maybe a combination of all....
Sometimes it is so easy to get discouraged in this life, and so this morning God is reminding me that being happy is a result of your circumstances, but JOY comes from knowing Christ as your savior and believing in His wonderful plan! I don't want my "joy" to be something that comes and goes with the ups and downs of life; although I understand that there are hard times and exciting times in our lives. I want to show JOY throughout each and every day. THROUGH the ups and the downs.
God is great! And I choose to sing His praise throughout my day, happy or sad!!
Love this song called "God is Great" by Hillsong United

All creation cries to you
Worshipping in Spirit and in truth
Glory to the faithful one Jesus Christ God's son

All Creation gives you praise
You alone are truly great
You alone are God who reigns for eternity

God is great and His praise fills the earth fills the heavens
And Your name will be praised through all the world
God is great sing his praise all the earth all the heavens
'cause were living for the Glory of Your name the glory of your name

All to you Oh God we bring
Jesus teach us how to live
Let your fire burn in us
That all may hear and all may see

"Happy" Monday to all:)

7 months and counting!

The snow is here! We are experiencing our first blizzard of the winter, and so far, it's been a pretty great one:) The snow is beautiful and we got to spend the whole day cuddled up at home as a family napping and playing. The only downfall was that my family was planning on having our live nativity this weekend, but we are hoping to have it next weekend instead. I actually got to go out and shovel a little of the first snow before it got nasty out and it was fun! I was not allowed to do any last year as I was pregnant with miss Emma.
Speaking of whom, she is now sound asleep in bed after a hard day of being spoiled by mama and da-da:) I have to brag for just a moment as I truly believe she is the most beautiful baby ever! Although I quite enjoy being her best buddy right now, it is getting a little exhausting being almost the only thing she wants! She cries out EVERY time I leave the room and it's getting a little hard on this mommy. I'm sure it is a phase and I will miss it later. She is still a charmer and has the cutest smiles for almost everyone! (As long as her mommy is near by.) She eats about 3 meals a day of fruits/veggies/oatmeal or rice cereal. Usually fruit in the mornings, veggies with or following lunch, and some fruits or veggies with rice creal in the evenings. She's a great eater, but I have noticed she is wanting her bottle less and less throughout the day....not sure if this is typical at her age or not, but she will still get 3-5 bottles a day. We were just noticing today how well she can get around the room. Not crawling yet, but rolling and scooting all across the floor! We have started baby-proofing the house as a few of her favorite things to grab and chew on are our shoes, the remote, and working her way to the dvd player which she has turned on a few times. It won't be long now till she's into everything!
Well, I've got a date with some peanut butter m&m's, (I'm getting a head start on my "healthy" holiday eating;P) Hope all our loved ones in Iowa are staying safe and warm! Nights like this I say a special prayer for my cousin Ronnie who works for the DOT and heads out to plow the roads when we all are staying in!!
Night everyone!

18 days till Christmas!!!!!!!!!! We are so excited for our first Christmas with Emma ♥

It's Beginning to Feel a lot like Christmas!

Well, the air is chilly and the trees are bare. The winter coats are out and so are the Christmas decorations!
Last friday while everyone else was out shopping with all the crazies, Emma and I spent the day listening to Christmas music and decorating the house. We've got some presents wrapped under the tree and my willow tree nativity scene is up. It's such a cozy feeling having the house all "Christmasy":)
We got to share our home with some special family this weekend. My Uncle Wyatt and his family came up to visit from Missouri for Thanksgiving weekend. Saturday night Ria & Andy, Katlyn, Curtis, and Miss Addi came over to hangout for awhile and we got to spend some special time with them. And Katlyn and her family stayed with us Saturday night, and although it was a short stay, we had so much fun! It was so great to see our Missouri family that we don't get to see near as much as we'd like. And it was the first time we got to see Addi in person, and what a sweetie she is! We hope you come back again soon guys!!
Life with Emma continues to be crazy and wonderful. She just gets more and more fun as time goes by! RJ and I are completely loving being parents and enjoy watching her grow and change and learn. I don't think there's any way I'd be able to keep up with all the new developments in her life everyday. But she is starting to sit up for much longer by herself and taking better naps than she used too. She still is a great sleeper at night, and my only complaint is that she wakes up just a bit earlier than I'd like. She typically rises about 6am, occasionally sleeping in until 7. We have tried putting her to bed a little earlier or later but she is a stickler about her 8 o'clock bedtime. And it's a good time in the evening for us to put her down also. So I've just been counting my blessings and enjoying our little catnap together in the morning:)
This week we've put away most of Emma's 6-9 month clothes as they're getting quite snug. She mostly wears 12 month now and I like them being just a tad big so that we can layer in the winter. She also got her Christmas present from Grandpa and Grandma Van Dyke early, as she was getting pretty big for her infant carseat. So Thanksgiving day when we were in Carroll with RJ's family, she got her big girl carseat:) We picked out the Britax Marathon and so far we are LOVING it! It is comfy for Emma and is one of the safest seats out there. We like that it is so easy to adjust and it reclines also so it's great when she sleeps. And she sleeps MUCH more in this carseat than she ever did in her old one. Which makes car rides with her so easy!
Well my hubby and I are going to watch some Monday night football now, so I will leave you with all our love and wishes for a great end to your November!

Little Miss Emma Update

Being a mom is so amazing! It's amazing to me that even though we have had quite a tough morning, I am still able to update about my daughter with such joy and love! She is learning so much lately!!
-She is a master at rolling over especially when you're trying to change her diaper or get her dressed
-She says Da-da, although not necessarily when she's see's RJ. She babbles all the time and definitely has plenty to say to the world!
-Her new thing to do is shake her head back and forth. She doesn't say no-no yet, but that is DEFinitely what she is saying when she does it. Which is great that she can let us know when a bottle, rocking, playing, etc is not what she wants. Although it makes me a little nervous about her potential attitude.
-When placed in the sitting position she holds it pretty darn well, but I wouldn't leave her sitting without a boppy or pillow or something to catch her, because she's still topples over
-She is trying SOOOO hard to crawl and is SO close! She's up on all fours and bouncing and rocking. She scoots around in a circle all the time!
-She constantly twirling her hands and has started opening and closing them in what looks to me like a wave.
-Her new favorite thing is her toes! I am so happy, I've been waiting almost 7 months for her to discover her little toesies:) She loves to play with them, suck on her big toe, and wiggles them lots!
-Another thing mommy adores is Emma's love of hugs and snuggles. Whether tired, happy, or bashful, she loves to bury her face in your shoulder. These moments make my world go round!
-Emma LOVES Elmo! If she's not taking a nap, we've started watching Seasame Street in the mornings. (I thought it's probably more educational then Price Is Right. And we've been trying to keep our tv watching to a minimum) And whenever Elmo comes on the screen or talks, she cracks the biggest grin and gets all wiggly:)
-She also has become very clingy to mommy.... She is dealing with a liitle separation anxiety lately, even when I leave the room for just a moment. She wants to be able to see me from wherever she is.
-Animals continue to be great entertainment!

Although I love Christmas time, I am sad to see the fall weather come to an end. Emma absolutely loves being outside. And I'm not sure how we will make it through the winter without our stroller rides. We may have to use the unfinished basement to go on "walks."
Emma is full of drama these days good or bad. She is such a girl!!!:) When upset she will through her head back and whine, and when something/someone makes her smile, she not only cracks a huge, 2-toothed grin but she shrieks with delight and we have learned how to make her giggle hysterically which is the BEST! The other day I was laying on the couch with her sitting up on my stomach and she plopped over into the couch cushion. I went, "Emma, what happened!?" She smiled so big with made me laugh, and the more I laughed, the more she laughed. What an amazing blessing it was to share that moment with her as Daddy was walking in the door from work:) My little family is so great!!!!

Well, I'm going to try and get Missy Moo down for a nap, as she got up quite early this morning and has been quite needy.
Our love to all!!

All is Well!:)

Miss Emma's ultrasound came back perfect! Praise God!!
Thanks for your prayers everyone!

Small Prayer Request

Today Miss Emma is having an ultrasound of her bladder and kidneys at 2 o'clock. She has been treated for a UTI and when little ones as young as she is have them, they like to rule out the possibility of a problem with her body. Please lift up our little girl and her mommy who will be attempting to hold a 6 month old still enough to get a good scan! We probably will not get the results until Monday, but I will update as soon as we get them back. Thank you for your prayers and we thank God for being in control of every situation we find ourselves in!

What I am learning

I really wanted to get a quick update posted tonight after having such a wonderful day. Often times I blog when I'm frustrated and I wanted on record to have a positive one:)
First let me just say that each and every day I am learning so much. Here's a quick list of things I've learned most recently as a wife and mom:
*When I go with my "mommy gut", I am USUALLY right
*I CAN cook supper and entertain Emma (for awhile I had just given up preparing meals and I think our bodies and budget were paying for our frequent take out meals and my poor supper choices.)
*Pampers diapers really do "contain" the best
*If I stop worrying about how on schedule Emma is, she usually does better
*God is SO faithful and has shown this to us multiple times recently (or at least we are choosing to see it now.) When we have really been in need of something, He has answered our prayers, and we give HIM the credit for the wonderful life we are living!
I'm learning that when we've had a bad day or a rough night, it's all temporary. It doesn't last forever, although it may seem like it at time, and that does not have to establish my attitude. I admit sometimes it does affect it, but I want to do better at not getting so easily discouraged. And nights like tonight when Emma puts her chubby little hands on my face, smiles at me, and then cuddles into my shoulder, that frustration is the FURTHEST thing from my mind!
Well I'm off to take a nice warm bath and read a good book! Have a mentioned I have the greatest husband ever?!?!:)

Night all!

November is here!

Although it is only 8:40pm, I am a tired mommy. Unfortunately we have a sweet little 6 month old with a UTI.....(I didn't know little babies got them already!) We've started her on an antibiotic, so I'm praying for no allergic reactions and a quick recovery for my little princess. I took her to the doctor yesterday after a little over a week of being exceptionally fussy and not wanting to be set down for a minute. I was suspecting an ear infection, but it just goes to show how little this mommy knows. I just can't believe how different my "motherly" feeling can be from one day to the next. Heck, from one minute to the next!! One minute I'm feelin like a pro, knowing just what Emma needs, following a good schedule, and even sneaking in some time for myself...and the next I'm that helpless first-time mommy not having a clue what she wants/needs, questioning my decisions, and wondering what in the world I'm doing!:D Thankfully RJ and I balance each other so incredibly well and when I'm overwhelmed, he gives me a pep talk, and if he can, takes his turns with Emma to give me a break. And when he is frustrated and ready to lose it, mommy steps in. We're such a great team. He remembers all the things I forget (not sure I ever got over the absentmindedness that accompanied pregnancy) and is always reminding me in the hard moments how blessed we are to have our baby girl.
We're planning a trip home to Carroll for the weekend, (Lord willing Emma is doing well) to spend some time with RJ's family and take some family pictures. I'm so excited and hoping they turn out well! Emma will also get some 6 month pics taken as well...hope she smiles pretty! Fortunately she is incredibly adorable even when she's not smiling so it won't matter much:) It will be E's 2nd trip to daddy's home town.
Well, RJ has put Miss Emma to bed and now we get to spend a little time together before heading to bed. I hope each of you try as I do to look at each day as a gift and treat everyone you meet with kindness.

*sniff *sniff 6 Months Old

Well, the day has come and gone already, my baby is 6 months old! I can't believe it! She is changing so much!
At her 6month check-up, Emma was 18 pounds 2 ounces and 26 inches long! She now eats apples, bananas, pears, peaches, prunes, carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, peas, green beans, and mixed veggies. Doc said she can have some mashed up table food too if she wants, (with the exceptions of meats, eggs, milk, and really sugary/salty things).
She has since rolled over BOTH ways now and scoots around a little too. She can't get around really yet (except in a little circle) so I still have a little bit of time yet before I have to worry about her getting into things. But she will grab anything within arms reach and put it right into her mouth, so we have to be very careful!
Emma now enjoys her bumbo seat, jumperoo, sippy cup (tho she doesn't drink much from it), frozen teether toys (lifesaver!!), her stuffed pigs, and anything she can shake and make noise. She had her shots yesterday and they were the hardest ones yet:( Both Grandma's went along so I had plenty of support, but nothing makes my tummy hurt more than seeing my daughter hurt and scared and do nothing to stop it. Although the alternative of her gettting sick would be so much worse! It's worth it! She hasn't quite been her happy self lately, I think she is working on some more teeth and has been fussy. She cries nearly every time I leave her sight. But today has been a happy day, and I fall in love all over again with the beautiful smiles of our Emma:) And I know there will be a day when I miss even the tough days, just to have her be a baby again. I'm trying to soak up and enjoy every moment!

Speaking of miss Emma Rae...she is awake and calling for me!
Bye for now!!

5.5 months old

Emma Rae is growing! I'm sure it's no surprise to you mommies of little ones out there, but for this first timer, I am continually amazed at how fast our baby girl is growing and changing. The days before Emma seem like a lifetime ago and I wonder what we did with all of our free time! Life with Emma is hectic, challenging, and ever changing. But it is also beautiful, rewarding, and exciting. I feel like in front of my eyes, our Emma is going from a baby to a little girl. I found myself looking forward to each of her month "birthdays" but I'm struggling with the impending 6 months... That seems really big.
Today I introduced Emma to applesauce and riding in the stroller without the carseat. The apples weren't as big of a hit as bananas. (She almost inhaled those:) And her first big girl stroller ride was quite a success. All the fun of a nice fall walk without the drama of getting her into the carseat. Another big change for us is the end of breastfeeding. Emma still gets breastmilk occasionally (from what I had frozen) but is primarily a formula baby now. She pretty much weaned herself and I will admit I was a-okay with it once she got those first teeth!! We made it 5 months and I am just fine with that!
I hope all of you are enjoying this Indian summer as much as we are! I hope to get some yardwork done this afternoon now that RJ is home.
Best of FALL to you All,
and hopefully you'll hear from us again soon!!!

Yay FALL!!!

Hooray for my favorite season of the year! I love fall! The pretty, crisp leaves and the coolness in the air. I think Emma does too:) She has a fascination with trees and loves our walks which are even more fun now with the falling leaves:) We are enjoying her so much! We can play with her and chat with her. And it's easier now to tell what is bothering her. We've had a rough few days/evenings as Emma has sprouted two teeth! But she's done really well and it just goes to further support our belief that Emma is brilliant. She also has mastered holding a sippy cup, grabbing toys that seem to be out of reach, and a whole new array of squeals, coo's, and jabbers:) She continues to sleep so well at night, even through teething, and I owe her the world for that. She goes down about 8:30 which gives RJ and I some quiet time to ourselves before we too hit the hay. Her hair is growing in like crazy, and for this mommy especially, that is super!!:) The headband-only phase may be coming to an end!
Last Sunday, Emma was dedicated at our church and this past Sunday her daddy and I took the 101 class to become members. As Emma grows and learns I realize just how critical our roles as her parents are, and how I want to learn everything that I can to become a better Christian woman and example to my daughter. I am looking into finding a Godly parenting class or book, so if anyone reading this has any suggestions, leave me a comment!
Sorry this post is hurried, but Grandma Sue is here for "Suesdays" with Emma and we're going to go take Daddy out to lunch before Mommy goes to cut some hair! I will just say that I am so, SO blessed with the amazing family that I have and I hope and pray I can live in such a way that pleases the Lord, for He has done such great things for me!!!

5 months old!

This post is about 48 hours early, but in two days RJ and I will be parents of a 5 month old girl!! Craziness:) She's such a joy! Today as she was jumping away in her jumperoo, I just stood back and stared at our little peanut. I remember days of saying to myself, "I can't WAIT till she's big enough to hangout and play on her own!" And now, as I go about doing household chores and such, I can hardly walk by her without stopping to give her a kiss or make a funny face at her and I'm rewarded by THE most adorable grin! As we prepare for Emma's dedication this Sunday, I was thinking back to the day she was born and what an amazing experience it was. How they laid that little girl in my arms and tears of love and joy pouring down my face as my heart grew so big I thought it would burst out my chest. I think back to times of feeling like such a zombie or just getting out of the house to go to the post-office, I felt like I was on a foreign planet. It's crazy how the moments of feeling helpless and overwhelmed seem to last forever....then in the blink of an eye it's passed you by and the moments that stick in your mind the most are the moments of love, pride, joy, and awe.
Another thing I've heard but had to live out in order to understand it completely is that just when you think you've got things under-control and found some source of normalcy, babies change their schedule on you. But I'm trying to appreciate this as I know each phase only lasts so long. While cuddling a newborn is really great, I'm having more and more fun with Emma the older she gets. We can play and "chit-chat" and watching her grow and learn gives me such an amazing feeling inside:)
If things I've heard and read about are at all true, I'd say Emma is definitely starting to teeth. Low fever, runny nose, pools of drool, and constant gnawing on her fingers, our fingers, anything she can get her hands on! And while she will let you know her mouth is ouchy, she's still as smiley as ever. Even stopping mid cry to give you a quick smile:) She's eating veggies like a champ! And still sleeping pretty good at night. Naps are something we have yet to figure out, but after a couple weeks of crying and crying with still shorter snoozes, mommy is content right now with her 3-4 45 minute nappies (as we call them:) as she is still getting a good 10-12 hours at night. She seems pretty content with it at this point and I've realized I get more done during those 45 min breaks then if I'm spending half the day listening to her cry as we fight her to sleep longer. And while I may be a naive first-time mom, I think that when she is needing a longer nap, she will take one. (Please humor me in thinking I know what I'm doing:)
On that note, it's almost 10 and time for this mama to get some shut eye! Big weekend coming up!! Goin to the Hawkeye game on Saturday with my hubby for my birthday, Emma's dedication on Sunday, (my actual b-day), and our anniversary on Monday!!
Good night!!

Our 4 1/2 month old Emma Rae

Hello World

Emma's current loves:
*carrots
*Similac formula
*putting things in her mouth
*sucking her first 2 fingers
*puppy dogs
*buzzing her tongue
*watching sports and Price is Right on tv
*her exersaucer

Emma's current DISlikes:
*still not a carseat fan
*squash
*Enfamil formula
*sleeping longer than 45 minutes for naps
*sudden loud changes in your voice
*her bumbo seat

Mommy's dislikes:
~her short naps
~exclusively pumping
~hearing Emma cry
~her 6 month clothes being too small already:(
~taking Emma to get shots
~the mornings we have to wake Emma up to leave
~the days Daddy works late

Mommy's loves:
~Emma's 8:30-9 bedtime
~her cuddles before bed
~bottles of formula before bed
~making our little girl laugh
~watching Emma learn & grow
~the smiles she greets us with in the mornings
~the weekends when Mommy, Daddy, & Emma Bear can all spend time together!

Our growing girl!

A flood of water and emotions

Last week we were officially welcomed to "Water Street" as we woke up around 2:30 Wednesday morning to find we had no power. RJ proceeded to check out the sump pump situation (powered by electricity) and found 3-4 inches of water in the entire basement! Otto's food dishes had floated away, rugs were floating, and many other things filling with water. Thankfully, our basement is mostly unfinished, and the majority of the things we keep down in the basement are stored on shelves or in rubbermaid containers. We had a recliner, 2 old computers, all our luggage, and some power cords that may be ruined, but with all of the crazy flooding going on in Iowa, we consider our selves lucky. Thankfully the power came back on around 3:30 and the pump kicked right back into gear! It could have been much worse!! And by bedtime Wednesday night was almost dry.
In happier news; my little sister brightened my day that day coming over to hangout with some exciting news....she's engaged and getting married next spring!:) Emma gets to be a flower girl:):):) We are so happy for Danielle and Derek and pray that God continues to bless their relationship with happiness. Such a bittersweet time for us, as we are so aware that a huge part of our family will not be here to share this day with us:( Daddy, you are missed SO much!

Letting Go

Over the past week God has done a very effective job of reminding me that He is in control. He is trying to show me that I cannot control all the events or people in my life. A lot of times I like to believe that I need to do or say something in order to change the outcome of certain situations. It's true that there are some things we can/should do to help others (and ourselves) but there is so much about this life that is out of our control. And I'm realizing that not only CAN I release some of my anxieties I have for my loved ones and the place they are at in their lives, but I SHOULD let go of this need I seem to have sometimes to figure them all out. I don't know if this applies to anyone else who reads this or not, but it sure fits where I find myself right now...... I'm finding just now that this song that I've known for several years sounds like it could have been written for me. Out of my love for the people in my life, I try to hold on to all the struggles that they face and try to analyze the bejeebers out of them in search of the solution. I need to take my cares to Christ and allow Him to work and trust that His timing is perfect and that He holds each of us in the palm of His hands. I wanted to share the lyrics to the song "Letting Go" by Jeremy Camp and also an old chorus I learned as a young girl in church, which I sometimes find myself singing as I calm Emma down when she is upset.
Letting Go

Gripping on so tight with
the security i have inside
Knowing what is right
Holding onto my pride

Letting Go
Of the things i hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go
Of the Things i hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears

I have been brought to a place
Where i want to give up everything
Where all i can do is seek your face
and my brokenness i will bring

Letting Go
Of the things i hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go
Of the Things i hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears

Holding on to the things i deem so strong
Holding on even though my faith has been built so long
Holding on to the things I deem so strong
Holding on to hwat I know
I'm letting go

Cares Chorus

I cast all my cares upon You
I lay all of my burdens
down at Your feet
And anytime that I don't know
what to do
I will cast all my cares upon You

Prayer request for my Mama

This update is a request for prayer and the lifting up of Emma's Gramma. My mom had an accident last wednesday night while helping with the ponies. She's got a banged up face, which is healing up nicely, but more importantly is her arm. She was told in the ER that it was broken and that it would heal up nicely on it's own. Monday she went to see an orthopedic who told her that the doctor at the ER clearly had no idea of how bad her injury was. The break was actually up in her shoulder and would DEFINITELY need surgery. She had a long day yesterday of more doctors and more tests to prep her for surgery and will be undergoing the procedure sometime this week. I ask that you pray for relief from the pain, a successful surgery, and peace for her through this whole ordeal. It's been a tough year on our family already, and while God is seeing us through, it wears on each of us heavily. Summer is always a busy time with lots going on, and we pray for mom's sake and ours that her recovery is a quick one.
Thank you in advance for each of your prayers!

Monday, Monday.....

Happy Monday everyone!
I'm feeling quite accomplished this morning:) Emma woke up around 6 to eat after going to bed at 9:30 and then was back to bed till about 8 to eat a little more. Then we cheated and napped together till around 10;P Got her dressed and she played on the floor while mommy picked up the house and started some laundry. Then she happily moved to her bouncer while mommy took a shower and got herself ready! This feels so good to me! Most days I have to wait until daddy gets home to get my shower;) Slowly but surely we're figuring this all out.....:)
Today is Miss Emma's 3 month check-up with Dr. Wehr, I can hardly believe it! And yet I can't remember life without her! She's changing so much already:
-she almost always sleeps through the night till 6:30ish
-she's enjoying her swing, bouncer, and exersaucer soooo much more and can occupy herself for awhile
-she's jabbering a lot too! Tons of coo's, squeals, and other noises ( I can't wait to hear what her little voice is going to sound like!)
-she's kind of established with us that she only likes a half hour-45 minute catnap a few times a day. Not a nice long nap a couple times a day. Which we will discuss this with our doc today and see what he thinks about it, but I've tried putting her down for a good long nap, in her swing, in her pack n play, and even in her bed and it never fails that she's wide-awake in less than an hour and seems to be fairly content. I was really frusterated by this at first because I thought all babies have a couple 2-3 hour nap times each day. But Emma is doing so well at night going to bed somewhere between 8:30-10:00 and getting a good 8-9 hours in before getting up again. So we'll see.....
Several things to discuss with Dr. Wehr today so we're anxious to talk with him and get all of Emma's stats!!! And we'll let you know how it goes!!!!
Wish us luck!!

I'm not "perfect"

I'm glad I am learning very early on that things don't always happen by the book. You can plan all you want to and you may think you know how you will handle different situations that arise, but you really don't. It makes me think of the phrase, 'if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans!' I'm really working on learning to 'go with the flow,' and to be more flexible and forgiving of others and especially myself, when things don't go as I thought they might. Emma might not smile and coo at everyone who holds her, she may not take "perfectly" schedules naps, she may not be "perfectly" content to just sit in her bouncer by herself for hours at a time. But she can still be perfect. Every baby is so different and everyone's idea of the "perfect" little baby is just not the same. I have been so hard on myself since Emma was born, wanting to just hole-up at home because Emma might fuss and people would think I'm not doing a very good job with her. But I am learning that everyone has their moments, no one is a perfect parent, and yes sometimes I might be that frazzled mom in the Wal-mart checkout line with a screaming baby, hair and make-up not done, and spit up all over my shirt. But Emma is a healthy girl and I am still a good mom. I'm not saying this in retaliation of what someone said to me.....I just needed to say it to myself;p
Now a few more pictures of our perfect little princess!!

Mid-July update on Emma

Quick Update on Emma-bear ♥

*has starting cooing and smiling a lot:)
*having a little more separation anxiety when mommy leaves
*starting sucking her top lip (I think she just likes the sound it makes)
*starting to establish a good nighttime routine (we're still working on getting better naps established......)
*mainly bottle-feeding at this point, she's not liking to nurse much anymore
*loves being bounced and rocked
*she likes to watch us make silly faces. She is so alert and is studying everything she sees
*has started to figure out she can move her arms, but she doesn't have the hand-eye coordination to control them. This results in her bon-king herself in the face on accident:( She has started grabbing ahold of hair, clothes, blankets, etc

Sorry this was a quickie!!!

Growing like a weed!

Well it is hard to believe it's the last day of June already! I can't get my mind around the fact that I am the mother of a 10 week old!!! Emma had her 2 month shots last week (which were quite hard on mommy seeing our peanut cry so hard;( and in 2 weeks will have her 3 month check up. Wow. Some of the days seem so long and then I look back and can't believe how much life has breezed past!
I am typing with a beautiful sleeping girl in my lap and there's a lot on my mind.....I've started cutting hair again; which is very exciting. I am working on Tuesdays, Wednesday afternoons, and Thursdays, as well as some Saturdays as well. It's nice to have an activity that gets me a little time away from "mommy duty." And it gives gramma some quality time with Emma as well:)
Emma is proving to be kinda of a challenging baby, although I'm sure first time parenthood is always challenging. She loves being held by her mama. I consider it a blessing and a curse. I love that she feels secure with me however, part of me is ready for her to be a little more independent and be able to occupy herself for awhile. She seems to fuss a lot out of bordom and needs to be occupied to stay content. We have been struggling a little bit with nursing too lately for some reason. Not sure if it is our increased use of bottles or what but it's been a little more of a battle than it was previously. Hopefully it is just a phase.
She loves her pacifier and anything with movement and lights. And she would MUCH rather be on her stomach then her back.
And on a positive not she continues to do sleep well at night. Several more all-nighters and most of the time she goes to sleep around 10:30 and will sleep till about 5 or so. YAY for sleep!!! She is also growing like crazy, weighing in last week at 13 pounds!:) Mommy is proud;P She also had her first girls shopping day with mommy and our cousin Joanna from Texas. We found a few good sales and Emma was a peach until about 3 oclock she was ready to be done. All in all it was a great day. As was the rest of our time with our family from down south. It's so hard to got a year or two without seeing them but I'm thankful for the time we get with them when they are here. Love them sooooo much!
Challenging or not, I am so blessed by my baby girl and just know that I would do anything for her and the smiles and cuddles I get from her help to erase all of the frustrating moments. It's so wonderful watching her grow and hearing her start to coo and babble;) I will leave you with a line we hear quite frequently and we sooo agree with, "She's just so darn cute!!!"

Blessings from us!!!

Lots of excitement!

So many wonderful things happening in our family lately!! Just to name a few:
-family from Texas is here!
-Emma has slept through the night 3 times!
-I am starting work on my own!
-Emma is starting to enjoy her baths:)
-RJ and I have had our first couple of outings without baby along

It's going to be a busy busy rest of the summer with weddings, family things, a weekend at the lake in July, and me getting started working in my own shop!

Well I am starting to feel like I am getting the hang of being a new mom. I've realized it's ok if: housework doesn't get done right away, I don't get a shower everyday, if Emma doesn't have a perfect schedule, or is not a "perfect baby" and many such things. A baby is a lot of work and there are really good days where I seem to have it all together, and there are days when Emma is crabby, I'm tired and forgetful and feel I'm at the end of my rope. But we're having more good days and nights than bad ones and I'm finding that my changing priorities are a wonderful thing, and are essential in life raising a child. I'm enjoying Emma more and more as I get to know and understand her better. As the days go by I start to figure out when she's crying because she's tired, hungry, or just to be fussy. And I'm learning not to run to her side the moment she starts to wimper. I didn't know what kind of mom I would be, and I confess I have judged moms I know on how they "mother" and I am just learning so much about it all. I'm realizing that I am pretty much your typical first time mommy. I flinch when she cries, get nervous about leaving her, and I call the doctor over little things. But this is ok! I love my little girl more than I could ever have imagined and even though her daddy and I are far from perfect and may not have the slightest clue what we're doing....no one loves Emma more than we do, and no one will work harder to give her the best life possible!!
Whew! That was deep!
Anywho..... I will leave for now as Emma is starting to stir, but I hope everyone out there is doing well and hopefully all this rain will go away soon!!! So tired of everything being wet:(
Love to all!

Yes, we're still here!!!

Sorry it has taken me so long to get you updated everyone! But besides the fact that I am busy caring for another little human being, I've had trouble being able to access my blog. Anywho.....MY GOODNESS! Our baby girl is 7 weeks old today!!! She is currently enjoying her swing and taking a little snooze for mommy:) I'll try to give a readers digest version of the life of Emma currently:
-she's over 10lbs now!
-sleeping from about 10:30-4 most nights, then getting up to eat a little and then back to bed till about 7:30
-she's finally starting to like her swing! YES! This gives mommy a few little breaks throughout the day:)
-still has no real daytime schedule....Emma is not a great nap taker unless you are holding her (she doesn't like to be alone;)
-this week she has started to give us some real smiles:) This brings so much joy to my heart and gives me a little hopeful feedback for all the feeding, rocking, changing diapers, rocking, and burping that sometimes feels endless!
-Emma is also quite gassy....she gulps alot when she eats and this results in a lot of air in her little tummy making her quite fussy. We've tried gas drops, which don't seem to help much, and when we get desperate, we give her a little Gripe water which is enough to calm her down enough that we can get her to sleep.
She is absolutely BEAUTIFUL if you haven't seen it for yourself! And all-in-all, we're starting to adjust to life with her, one day at a time. Mommy is finally all healed up and enjoying a few hours here and there doing some walking, mowing, or reading while Emma gets spoiled by her Gramma. (my mom) And on that note, I don't know how I could have survived the past 7 weeks without the support and care of my husband, the time and talks with my wonderful mom, and the visits and help from my parents-in-law. I have such a wonderful, wonderful family and thank God for where we are today.
I will be returning to work in a couple of weeks, but at a different location. My moms shop, the Country Clipper, will now be my employer:) I will probably be working Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and most Saturday mornings. If any of you out there are in need of a cut, color, perm, or wax....please get ahold of me! I'd love to help you out!!!!:)
Ok, now some pics of our adorable Emma Rae!

Emma Rae is here!!!

I can't believe that only 24 hours after my last post, we were at the hospital waiting for baby Van Dyke to be born!! But thank God for answered prayers, and at 7:37 pm on Thursday, April 22nd, Emma Rae Van Dyke was born. She was a healthy 7 pounds and 8 oz, 19.5 inches long, and at 11 days old I'm happy to say she is up to 7lb 9oz, back over her birth weight:)
The transition to life with a newborn is a crazy, exhausting, wonderful one.

The carseat is in the car and bags are packed!

Wow. I can't believe that in a week or so, RJ and I will be parents! Praise God for the light at the end of the tunnel:) This journey we are on is crazy! And yet a whole new journey is ready to begin. I pray that God is with us every step of the way and that He gives us exactly what we stand in need of at each moment along the way.
I'm finding words are hard to come by these days so this post will be fairly short, compared to most.
The latest from our doctor's appointment yesterday: I am 75% effaced and 1-2 cm dialated. Baby's head is at a zero station and everything is looking good. As my dr said, once we get some power behind the contractions, we will be in business!!! So there you have it! All systems are go at this point, once God and Baby decide it is time. We pray for patience and peace as we wait out these last few days and also for health and safety for mommy and baby.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and we will try to get everyone updated in some way or another once the Mini Van's birthday is here!

2 Weeks and counting

Well I am officially under 2 weeks till my due date. And I'll admit, I am getting a little weary of hearing, "so are you ready?" "when's your due date again?" and "No news yet?" I am as ready as I'm going to be and just kind of sick of being pregnant. Now with that said, I know that God's timing is perfect, and I don't want Him to bring our baby into this world until He knows the time is right. I was recently reading in a book given to me by a friend, that part of what prepares our hearts and minds for the birth of our children is actually in the waiting. Although it may seem like I'm just trying to past the time, God is working in my heart to prepare me for the many changes that are coming. And teaching me about one thing I lack much of...patience! So I'm trying to look at each day left in my pregnancy as a chance for me to get my spirit just a little bit more ready for motherhood.
I'll admit it has gotten harder in the past week or so, with the birth of my friend Ariel's baby boy. I am so incredibly happy for them as Layton is an adorable little blessing and I'm so thankful that everything went so well for her. It's just so neat!:) Now I'm just wondering if we will be giving her little man a future guy friend or girlfriend???:D
Also adding to that is the fact that our baby seems to be completely out of room! I think he or she is a little frustrated with this because those cute little arms and legs can sure feel like daggers in my ribs, stomach, and bladder! I've given up hope of being comfortable at night, and am happy just to say I've managed to get a few hours of sleep here and there. Haha, oh well, it's all part of it!:)
My last appointment went well and was fairly uneventful.....all vitals are good and this is great news especially for my iron count which is back up to normal. This week he will begin checking for dialation, effacement, and other signs of labor.
I'm still pluggin away at work 3 or 4 days a week, and it's gotten quite a bit tougher in the last week or so. I'm thankful that I'm still well enough to be on my feet and that I'm not confined to my home or bed, But I sure do need more motivation to get geared up to go than i did a few weeks and months ago, (which I think is fairly understandable;P)
That is about it for now, I'm going to relax and soak up some sunshine out on our deck:) I love this weather so much and I am enjoying the backyard of our home SO MUCH!! I've been taking advantage of our deck and the weather lately, sitting outside in the sun to read, journal, listen to music, and dream about meeting our little baby:)
Take care everyone and YES, I hope that soon I will be sharing updates on our little boy or girl's arrival!!!!!

Hello April!!!

Happy April everyone! I doubt you're as excited as I am that it is finally here, but it sure is good to see and feel all the signs of spring. I just got back from a nice walk around town in a tank top and shorts!!!:) As I type this I've got my feet up and I'm feeling good:) Just listening to the birds, feeling the breeze blowing in the window, and watching Otto pretend he can catch the leaves blowing by the screen door. What a blessed time of year! I thought I would put up a few pictures of mr. Otto before this blog becomes overrun with pictures of our new addition soon.




Well, we are gearing up for a busy Easter weekend. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow after work, I'm then working saturday; followed by Easter supper with the Earp family in the evening. And Sunday will be a fun-filled day of church, Easter lunch at grandma De Cook's, and then the first annual Van Dyke-De Cook Easter Grill-out! :) It will be so great to have my family and RJ's family together with us! After all it could be the last time, we get to see RJ's parents and brothers before we are a family of 3!! My due date is 3 weeks from Sunday if you're not keeping track:P Haha
I do believe we have the nursery about as ready as it's going to be until Baby Van Dyke comes. There are just a couple small things we need to purchase yet before D-day, but I've started packing a few things in a bag to take with us when we go to the hospital. And I have most of the baby clothes and stuff washed and ready to go. We also bought our "coming home outfits" for the baby; one for boy and one for girl:) I wont post any pictures of them, but I will tell you they are ADORABLE!!
Not much is new with Baby as of now, (I will probably have more to update you on tomorrow after Dr. appt.) But mommy sure is getting uncomfy. Sleeping for more than and hour or two at a time has evaded me for several weeks, and my joints have been pretty achy. I've been experiencing some Braxton hicks contractions off and on for a weeks or so now, which aren't painful but sure are uncomfortable.
All in all, I'm so thankful that spring is here and the time between us and getting to see our Baby for the first time is drawing close! God's blessings to you all and I will leave you with a few pictures of the arrival of spring and our nursery waiting FOR our little one's arrival

Mommy & Baby at 35 weeks!

Just over a month to go!

What a beautiful morning! The sun is shining and it's supposed to be in the 50's today:) I'm so thankful for weather like this so that I can get outside and go for walks! I think our little peanut likes spring too, he/she is more active than ever. I rarely have to think about counting kicks or movements because peanut is on the move frequently! I'm hoping this means he/she is ready for life outside my tummy and wont keep us waiting too long.
Before I forget, RJ and I want to thank everyone for all of you who came to our baby shower on saturday and for the wonderful gifts for Baby Van. It was a such a great turn out and we received some wonderful supplies for life when baby gets here. A special thank you to my sister Danielle and cousin Lacie for planning the shower. It was so nice!! The shower featured an adorable Teddy Bear theme and everything was adorable:) It was very interesting to hear all of the predictions on Baby's gender, size and arrival date:) Just for kicks and giggles; there were 14 votes for baby boy and 9 votes for baby girl. 18 ladies thought Baby would come early, 1 predicted my due date exactly, and 5 guessed he/she would be a few days late. Just some interesting tidbits to ponder as we wait out these last weeks.
I have been feeling pretty good lately, minus these pesky migraines still sneaking up on me every so often. I had another one yesterday and they are just no fun at all. But I try to remember that there are so many things that could be going wrong in pregnancy, I am thankful that nasty headaches are one of the few things I've had to deal with. Along with the normal things like, waking up several times a night for bathroom breaks and trying to find a more comfortable position to lay in. (Imagine strapping a basketball onto the front of your stomach and trying to get comfy while not being allowed to lay on your back.) My legs, ankles, and feet have been increasingly tired and sore lately. But again, pretty normal and expected. I'm still working my normal schedule at the salon, and hope to do so untill as close as possible to D-day. I think being active has helped keep me feeling good, keeping things moving along, and also help me keep my sanity so I don't sit around worrying and fretting about all the changes that will be taking place soon.
My doctors appointments have been going well and we have another one today. So wish us luck! Afterwords, we're going to the hospital to get our pre-admitting done so that when we show up for munchkin's arrival there will be minimal paper work to complete.
Happy Spring to each of you! And we appreciate you all keeping us in your prayers as the day that we become parents gets closer and closer!!